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Angel: Unlike you I have no problem spanking men!
Ops Guy: You're nothing but a little fairy.
Angel: I'm not little!!!
Angel: You're not cute when I'm angry!
Angel: When you become a vampire, the demon takes your body, but it doesn't get your soul. That's gone! No conscience, no remorse... It's an easy way to live
Cordelia: So are you still (holds up her hands like claws and makes a face) -
grrr?
Angel: Yeah, there's not actually a cure for that.
Cordelia: Right. But you're not evil, I mean your not here to bite people?
Angel: No, I'm here with a friend.
Cordelia: Oh, good. Well, it was nice seeing you, but I've got to get mingly. I really should be talking to people that are somebody.
Angel: It's nice that she's grown as a person.
Doyle: Hey, you know, maybe we should go over this thing again of you getting out in the world and involving yourself with people. It's Friday night. It's the most social night of the week! A couple of lookers like us should be out there enjoying the nightlife. Not sitting here in the dark like some kind of…
Angel: Some kind of vampire?
Doyle: Well, yeah. I was going to say Slacker, but, yeah, to you, Mr. Obvious. You got to come out, man!
Cordelia: Hmm. It's weird!
Angel: What is?
Cordelia: I'm starting to get used to being creeped out and comforted at the same time.
Angel: I get that.
Angel: Am I intimidating? I mean do I put people off?
Angel: Vampires dont sleep in coffins. Its a misconception made popular by hack writers and ignorant media. (Gets up) In fact you know, we can and do move around during the day, as long as we avoid direct sunlight. Got it?
Angel: Three things I don't do: tan, date, and sing in public.
Angelus: She made me feel like a human being. That's not the kind of thing you just forgive.
Angel: You can't imagine the price for true evil
Doyle: Well, she thinks that you're insensitive, and not to bring up the irony, but consider the source.
Angel: So I'm a little reserved, that doesn't mean I don't care.
Cordelia: It's like you don't have a pulse.
Angel: I don't.
Angel: Man. Atonement's a bitch.
Angel: (while his hand is burning in the sun) If he has to get to the hospital at noon on the sunniest day of the year, he'll get there even if I don't.
Liam: Disappointment? A more dutiful son you couldn't have asked for. My whole life you've told me in word, in glance, what it is you required of me, and I've lived down to your every expectations, now haven't I?
Dad: That's madness!
Liam: No. The madness is that I couldn't fail enough for you. But we'll fix that now, won't we?
Dad: I fear for you, lad.
Liam: And is that the only thing you can find in your heart
for me now, father?
Dad: Who'll take you in, huh? No one!
Liam: I'll not lack for a place to sleep, I can tell you that. Out of my way.
Dad: I was never in your way, boy.
Cordelia: I guess the single life is particularly tough on you.
Angel: Why?
Cordelia: Well, a couple hundred years ago, the only thing you had to worry about was a hangover. Today, because of your curse thingy, you can't sleep with anyone or else you might feel a moment of true happiness and lose your soul, become evil -- again -- and kill everyone.
Angel: Thanks Cordelia. I always appreciate your perspective.
Lorn: My question, first -- and answer true because you know I'll know -- why Mandy?
Angel: Well, I-I know the words. I kinda think it's pretty.
Lorn: And it is ya great big sap! There's not a destroyer of worlds who can argue with Manilow. And good for you for fessin' up.
Wesley: Uh. . . . oops. I may have made a tiny mistake. The, uh, word -- shanshu -- that I said meant you were going to die? Actually, I think it means you're going to live.
Cordelia: Okay, as tiny mistakes go, that's *not* one.
Wesley: It's saying that you get to live until you die. It's saying. . . It's saying you become human.
Wesley: The vampire with a soul, once he fulfills his destiny will shanshu -- become human. It's his reward.
Cordelia: Wow. Angel human.
Angel: That'd be nice.
Cordelia: What was that thing about him having to fulfill his destiny first?
Wesley: Well, it's, uh, it won't happen tomorrow or the next day. He has to survive the coming darkness, the apocalyptic battles, a few plagues, and some. . . oh, several--not that many--fiends that will be unleashed upon the world.
Angel: So don't break out the champagne just yet.
Cordelia: Typical. I hook up with the only person in history who ever came to LA to get older.
Angel: Things used to be pretty simple, 100 years, just hanging out, feeling guilty. I honed my broding skills
Angel: I can walk like a man, but I'm not one
Angel: I'm not an angel. It's just a name.
Angel: I just want to feel something other than the cold.
Angel: I know you guys have been working hard. I mean, you've been cooped up inside a lot. And to show my appreciation I was thinking, the night being, you know, young and all that the three of us could well, should, You know, maybe, go out, you know, for fun.
Cordelia: Or we can go home.
Doyle: And you can sit in the dark alone.
Angel: God, yes! Thank you.
Cordelia: You have to change the way you've been doing things. Don't you see where this is taking you?
Wesley: Listen to her! Right now the three of us are all that's standing between you and real darkness.
Gunn: Best believe that, man.
Angel: (beat) I do. You're all fired.
Angel: I'm not good with people
Cordelia: Pretend to read any good books lately?
Angel: Cordelia. I thought you went home.
Angel: I've got 2 modes with people. Bite and avoid.
Doyle: You got a real addiction to the brooding part of life, did anyone ever tell ya that?
Angel: Once or twice.
Cordelia: She's got the big puppy love. I mean, who wouldn't? You're handsome, and brave, and heroic....emotionally stunted, erratic, prone to turning evil and let's face it: a eunuch.
Angel: Hey! How can you - I'm not a eunuch!
Cordelia: Just a figure of speech.
Angel: Find a better one.
Angel: You may not know this Fred, but certain friends and coworkers have been known to accuse me of being the quiet, stay at home, sulky one.
Angel: They really don't like me dropping in.
Buffy: Why not?
Angel: They really don't like me.
Angel: What's the magic word?
Cordelia: Urgh!
Angel: I don't think that 'Urgh' is the magic word, if one would consider it a word and even then certainly not a magical one
Wesley: Angel, it's me!
Angel: What are you doing here?
Wesley: Gunn's in trouble. Can't breathe.
Angel: Gunn can't breathe?
Wesley: I can't breathe.
Angel: Oh, sorry.
Wesley: Oh, it's quite alright. (Looks up at Angel) Now about the naked thing...
Angel: (looks down at himself) I'll get dressed.
Wesley: Much appreciated.
Magev: That car is your problem, pal. Says everything about you.
Angel: The car.
Magev: Yes, the car. You live in L.A. It's all about the car you drive.
Angel: I really don't think...
Magev: Vampire, living in a city known for its sun, driving a convertible.
Angel: There is only one thing we can do now.
Cordelia: Oh, god. Oh, no.
Wesley: The Karaoke bar.
Gunn: Angel's gonna sing?
Cordelia: Isn't there some other way?
Wesley: There has to be. Think, damn it!
Angel: Hey!
Lorne: How you're holding up?
Angel: I wanna go bad. I'm just waiting for Wes to have that Eureka moment.
Wesley: Eureka!
Angel: Oh, jeez. Thank god.
Lorne: You mean he actually really says Eureka?
Man (speaking Tibetan): What happened?
Angel (answering in Tibetan): Demon monks. I should've gone to Vegas.
Wesley: Not to mention some bastard's blown a gaping hole in the lift.
Angel: Sorry. My bastard.
Willy: I'm living, right Angel?
Angel: Sure you are Willy... and I'm taking up sun-bathing
Angel: Give me a stake
Cordelia: What? It's eight in the morning
Angel: I don’t know about you, but I had a nice day. – You know, except for the bulk of it, where I was nearly tortured to death.
Doyle: Yeah, well, you stood up.
Angel: Oh, god. I was this close to telling him everything. I mean, one more hot poker and I was giving him the ring, your mom, - everything. - How is your mom?
Cordelia: Mmmah. I've missed that smell.
Wesley: Camembert, I believe.
Cordelia: What? No. Money. I like to smell a little money once and awhile.
Angel: She's not just saying that. Hide some in the office some time and watch her. It's uncanny.
Xander: You were looking at my neck?
Angel: What?
Xander: You were checking out my neck. I saw that.
Angel: No I wasn't.
Xander: Just keep your distance pal.
Angel: I wasn't looking at your neck.
Xander: I told you to eat before we left!
Angel: I'm the what?
Cordy: The Dark Avenger.
Angel: I'm the Dark Avenger?
Cordy: I know, it's perfect!
Angel: These things (cell phones) were definitely cooked up by a bored warlock.
Doyle: Who's Aura?
Angel: I think she's one of Cordelia's group. People called them the Cordettes. A bunch of girls from wealthy families. They ruled the high school, decided what was in, who was popular. It's like the Soviet Secret Police if they cared a lot about shoes.
Angel:If I had killed Merl, would I have brought doughnuts?
Angel: Girls are nice.
Angel: My people before I was changed they exchanged this as a sign of devotion. It's a claddagh ring. The hands represent friendship, the crown represents loyalty, and the heart, well you know. Wear it with the heart pointing towards you it means you belong to somebody.
Angel: Excuse me. 'scuse me. I'm sorry. But has anybody seen my car? It's big , and it's shiny.
Angel: Why would a woman I've never met even talk to me?
Doyle: Have you looked into a mirror lately? (hesitates) No, I guess you really haven't, no.
Angel: I tried to do what I thought was right. It's complicated how this all happened, Buffy, you know? It's kind of a long story.
Buffy: You're new sidekick had a vision, I was in it, you came to Sunnydale?
Angel: Okay, maybe not that long.
Angel: Oh my God. Food. This is unbelievable. This is so…you know, I forgot how good it all tastes when you're alive!
Cordelia: Yeah, and they didn't even have Cookie-dough-fudge-mint-chip when you were alive.
Angel: Mmm, I want some! Can you get that?
Cordelia: It'll go straight to your thighs.
Cordelia: I learned something, too. I learned, uhm, men are evil? Oh, wait, I knew that. I learned that LA is full of self-serving phonies. No, had that one down, too. Uh... sex is bad?
Angel: We all knew that.
Cordelia: Okay. I learned that I have two people I trust absolutely with my life. And that part's new.
Wesley: My gypsy curse sometimes prevent me from seeing the truth. Oh, Buffy!
Cordelia: Yes, Angel?
Wesley: Oh, I love you so much I almost forgot to brood!
Cordelia: And just because I sent you to hell that one time doesn't mean that we can't just be friends.
Wesley: Or possibly more.
Cordelia: Gasp! No! We mustn't.
Wesley: Kiss me.
Cordelia: Bite me!
Angel: (os) How about you both bite me.
Angel: Buffy will always be a part of me and that's never going to change, but she's human and I'm not and that's also never going to change.
Angel: You're in love with her
Xander: Aren't you?
Wesley : You don't think sticking the adze in the wall put them off?
Angel: That was charming.
Wesley : What about the fact they thought we were gay?
Angel: Adds mystery.
Buffy: Love makes you do the wacky
Angel: What?
Buffy: Crazy stuff.
Angel: Oh. Crazy, like a two-hundred-and-forty-one-year-old being jealous of a high school junior?
Angelus: Spike, my boy, you really don't get it! Do you? You tried to kill her, but you couldn't. Look at you. You're a wreck! She's stronger than any Slayer you've ever faced. Force won't get it done. You gotta work from the inside. To kill this girl... you have to love her.
Lorne: Can't fight Kyrumption, cinnamon buns. It's fate, it's the stars, kyrumption
Angel: Stop saying that! And stop calling me pastries.
Angel: Are you going to torture me, or just bore me to death
Marcus: What do you want Angel?
Angel: A house in the country, a pair of good running shoes that you can also wear out to dinner.
Angel: Shipping order. We've got an address. We're heading out.
Wesley: That's it? They seemed... There were quite a few of them. Perhaps we need a plan.
Angel: Here is the plan: we go in, I start hitting people hard in the face see where it takes us.
Gunn: Give me one good reason.
Angel: It'll be extremely dangerous.
Gunn: Okay.
Lilah: You're a remarkable man, Angel.
Angel: Yeah, and you're an evil bitch.
Angel: You get lucky, you might last 10 minutes. Really lucky and you're unconcious for the last five.
Angel: I'm looking for Billy Blim?
Dylan: Are you a friend of his or what?
Angel: Friend? To be honest I'm looking to kill the bastard.
Dylan: Oh. Come on in.
Lila: Like a cat. Can't hear you. But I'm starting to be able to feel you. When you're near. Isn't that nice and creepy. How'd you find me?
Angel: Your assistant
Lila: I'll have his arms broken.
Angel: Already taken care of.
Lila: And am I next?
Angel: You know Lila, there's so many things I can do to you. With tranfusions, I can keep you alive indefinatly. I do have some expertiece in this area. My own son. How could you?
Lila: Its my job.
Angel: Did you come to fight? Or should I make some tea?
Angel: I've had a demon inside me for a couple hundred years... just waitin' for a good fight.
Angelus : Jeez, is it me, or is your heart not in this? Maybe I'll just go home, destroy the world
Angelus: This is outrageous! Don't these people know who we are?
Darla: I think they do. Which would explain the lynch mob.
Angel: Its not that I don't trust you... Actually, it *is* that I don't trust you
Angel: Do you want me to rip that guy's head of for you? Because, you know, I can. I can actually just rip his head right off his body. I can do that.
Lilah: It's just business.
Angel: Right. Just business. Don't you came at me through Cordelia ever again. You play that card a second time and I'll kill you.
Anya: So, this is Angel. He's large and glowery isn't he?
Xander: He's evil again
Angel: I'm not evil again. Why does everyone think that?
Dru: At the museum. A tomb...with a surprise inside.
Angelus: You can see all that in your head?
Spike: No, you ninny. She read it in the morning paper.
Angel: When I was in charge here, nobody questioned my methods. Or my singing!
Angelus: In all my years, I've never killed a famous person before, but with no witnesses - whose gonna believe me? Maybe we can take a picture. I know! We'll do it like we did back in the day. I'll keep your head on a stick as proof!
Angelus: My parents were great. Tasted a lot like chicken.
Angelus: I wanna torture you. I used to love it, and it's been a long time. I mean, they didn't even have chainsaws!
Angel: Why not? I killed mine. I killed their friends... and their friend's children... For a hundred years I offered ugly death to everyone I met, and I did it with a song in my heart.
Angelus: To kill this girl... you have to love her!
Angelus: Well, it's not really the kind of message you tell. It sort of involves finding the bodies of all your friends.
Angelus: Uh-oh! This does not look good for our heroine!
Angelus: You could probably...tell me what I'm doing wrong. But honestly, I sorta hope you don't...'Cause I *really* wanna torture you.
Angelus: Dream on, schoolgirl. Your boyfriend is dead. You're all gonna join him
Angelus: Well, maybe next time I'll bring you with me, Spike. Might be handy to have you around if I ever need a really good parking space.
Angel: Back in the day, I'd always get box seats... or eat the people who had 'em.