Quotable Jean-Claude

"I have never lied to you, my petite"

As you like


JC: I am the new master of the city. And you put me upon the throne

JC: Welcome to Guilty Pleasures. We are here to serve you. To make your most evil thought come true

Anita: What was I supposed to say?.....did I tell them the Master had the hots for me, so I'd probably be okay?

Anita: Should I eat first or accuse the Master of the City of murder? Choices, choices.

JC: When you have forgiven me, come back to me

Anita: Very slowly, take your hands away from my face. Put both hands on top of your head and lace your fingers together.
Yasmeen: Jean-Claude, call off your human.
JC: I'd do as she says, Yasmeen. How many vampires have you killed now, Anita?
Anita: Eighteen.
Yasmeen: I don't believe you.
Anita: Believe this, bitch: I'll pull the trigger and you can kiss your heart good-bye

J.C: You smell of other peoples blood, ma petite
Anita: It was no one you know

J.C: So be it Asher. But I would undo whatever you think I have done, if I could. I would bring her back if I could

J.C: I tire of you already, Asher
Asher: You tire of me because I speak the truth
J.C: No, I tire of you because you remind me of her, and that once, a very long time ago, I was almost happy
Asher: But now you have a second chance.
J.C: You could have a second chance, too, Asher. If you would only let the past go
Asher: The past is all I have
J.C: And that is not my fault

Anita: I dialed the number of Guilty Pleasures. It was a vampire strip joint. Chippendale's with fangs. Jean-Claude owned and managed it. Jean-Claude's voice came over the line, soft as silk, caressing down my spine even though I knew it was a recording. "You have reached Guilty Pleasures. I would love to make your darkest fantasy come true. Leave a message, and I will get back to you."

JC: I have never lied to you, my petite.
Anita: Oh, come on.
JC: Partial truths are not the same as lies.
Anita: I guess that depends on where you're sitting.

Anita: Come near me again, Jean-Claude, for any reason, and I'll kill you.
JC: Three marks bind us now. It would harm you, too.
Anita: Do you really think I give a damn?
JC: No

JC: Some of what you see tonight will be real, some illusion; which is which will be for you to decide.

J.C: Oh, you are on your own with ma petite. She is my human servant, so declared before the council, but she answers to no one.
Sabin: You seem proud of that
J.C: She is the Executioner and has more vampire kills than any other human. She is a necromancer of such power that you have travelled halfway around the world to consult her. She is my human servant without a mark to hold her.She dates me without the aid of a vampire glamour. Why should I not be pleased?

Anita: You are a devious son of a bitch, did you know that?
J.C: I've been told that before.

J.C: I am both a deterrent and a invitation to up the stakes, is that it?
Edward: Exactly.
J.C: Shall we go then, ma petite? The party awaits.

J.C: Why so solemn, ma petite?
Anita: The usual, trying to figure out how sincere you are
J.C: I am always sincere, ma petite, even when I lie.
Anita: Which makes you so good at it.
J.C: Exactly.

J.C: You are being rude to Anita. I will not remind you of it again.
Liv: The great Jean-Claude driven to celibacy by a human. People are laughing behind your back.
Anita: Celibacy?
J.C: Until you give up your nunnish ways, ma petite, I am playing monk.

J.C: You say they laugh behind my back. But only you are laughing to my face. A little more submissiveness, Liv, or is this a challenge to my authority?
Liv: No, I mean ... I never meant...
J.C: Then you best ask my forgiveness, had you not?
Liv: I beg you forgiveness, Master. I forgot myself.
J.C: Yes, you did Liv. Do not make it a habit.

Anita: I saved your ass enough times. I'm your declared human servant. What more do you want?
J.C: You, ma petite. It is no longer challenge or the promise of power that makes me look to you. I love you Anita.

Anita: You come up with it, I can pull its off.
Dominic: Arrogance is not a becoming trait in a woman.
J.C: I find it a very becoming trait. If its deserved. If you had just raised three vampires from their daytime rest, wouldn't you be arrogant, Dominic?
Dominic: Yes, I would be.

J.C: I will fly down tomorrow night
Anita: Tonight
J.C: Ma petite,ma petite, what am i to do with you?
Anita: You said you would help me
J.C: And I will, but these things take time
Anita: What things?
J.C: I might help if you think of Branson as a foreign country. A potentially hostile foreign country where I am working to get us safe passage. There are customs to be observed. If I barge in, it will be seen as a declaration of war.

J.C: Protecting our lands has been a valid excuse for slaughter since the beginning of time, ma petite. Did you suddenly change the rules?

J.C: Am I in danger, she asks. When the council asked me to divide my lands, they promised to set in place someone of power equal to or less than mine. But they did not expect me to enter her territory so unprepared.
Anita: Who are they? What council?
J.C: Have you really come among us so long and not heard of our council?
Anita: Just tell me
J.C: We have a council, ma petite, it has existed for a very long time. It is not so much a governing body as a court, or police, perhaps. Before your courts made us citizens with rights, we had very few rules, and only one law. Thou shall not draw attention to yourself.

J.C: It has been a long time since I was anyone's meat that wanted me. A very long time.

J.C: If they break the truce first,ma petite, then you are\free to slaughter everyone in the room

J.C: Janos
Janos: You rang?
J.C: I challenge you
Janos: You cannot prevail against me
J.C: That remains to be seen, does it not?

Serephina: You may escort me inside, as you did of old
J.C: But it is not olden days, Serephina. We are both masters now
Serephina: I have many masters serving me, Jean-Claude
J.C: I serve only myself
Serephina: You have made your point. Now be a gentleman

Monica: You're going to love this, I promise you
JC: Yes. It will be a night you will never forget
Anita: Is that a threat?
JC: This is a place of pleasure, Anita, not violence

Anita: Why do I have to change shoes?
JC: Because, delicate flower that you are, you have the eyes of a policeman, and so it would be better if you wore leather boots instead of high heels. It would be better if you remember that you are trying to move through the club as quickly and smoothly as possible. No one will help you find your leopards if they think you are an outsider, especially a policeman.
Anita: nobody ever mistakes me for a cop.
JC: No, but they begin to mistake you for something that smells of guns and death. Look harmless tonight, ma petite, until it is time to be dangerous.

Anita: Why is it that most of the time whenever I ask you for help, it's never a case where we can just run in and start shoot?
JC: And why is it, ma petite, that when you do not invite me it is almost always a case where you run in and shoot everything that moves?
Anita: Point taken

JC: You are a necromancer, and I am the Master Vampire of this city. Do you really believe that we can merge our powers and not have every undead in this room, and more, notice it?

JC: The system of master and servant has worked well for thousands of years, but you keep fighting it, and you keep forcing me to do things I do not wish to do.



J.C. I thank you for your most generous offer, but I prefer my food without fur

J.C: Dying from vampire bites is only temporarily fatal, ma petite.

J.C: Who wants a kiss?

Anita: I never forget that you are the walking dead, Jean-Claude
J.C: No, I see the knowledge in your eyes of what I am. Your eyes are the clearest mirror I have ever seen, ma petite. Whenever I begin to pretend to myself. Whenever I have delusions of life. I have only to look into your face and see the truth.

Anita: Jesus, are all vampires over two hundred perverts ?
J.C: I am over two hundred
Anita: I rest my case

J.C: All honesty is eventually punished, but not usually this quickly.

Anita: Of course, if Jean-Claude had committed the murder, he wasn't likely to confess. But I didn't really believe he'd done it. He was much to good a business vampire to get messy. He was the only master vampire I'd ever met who wasn't crazy in some way: psychotic, or sociopathic, take your pick.

Anita: If you think your only shortcoming is being a vampire, you're wrong.
JC: Really?
Anita: Yeah. You're an egotistical, overbearing bully.
JC: A bully?
Anita: You want me, so you can't believe that I don't want you. Your needs, your desires are more important than anyone else's.

Anita: I should have killed you a long time ago
J.C: You have had your chances, ma petite. You keep saving me.
Anita: My mistake.

Anita: Jean-Claude didn't mind killing people. Once apon a time, I'd thought that made him monstrous. Now I agreed with him. Would the real monster please stand up?

Anita: It scares you that I can raise vampires like this.
J.C: Perhaps, ma petite, but I have frightened you for years and yet you are still here.

J.C: Would you want to spend eternity on your back, ma petite? There are so many other more comfortable positions.

Anita: Am I the only one in this room not lusting after the blood?
J.C: Except for Dominic, I fear so, ma petite

J.C: Richard wanted me to give you the first mark again. I refused.
Anita: Smart vampire.
J.C: You have made yourself very clear, ma petite. I will not be accused of forcing myself upon you again. Not in any sense.

J.C: I will go escort your guest in.
Edward: I better go with you, Harley doesn't know you, but he'll know what you are.
Anita: What's that supposed to mean?
Edward: If a strange vampire walked up to you in this place and said follow me, would you do it?
Anita: Probably not.
Edward: Neither would Harley.

Anita: Stomp your feet or something when you do that
J.C: Do what?
Anita: That wasn't a mind trick, was it?
J.C: No
Anita: Damn you
J.C: We've been over that, ma petite; you are too late

J.C: Why do I put up with you? You insult me at every turn. There are many who would give their souls for what I offer you
Anita: Cut the vampire powers sh*t, Jean-Claude. Its almost dawn; don't you have a coffin to crawl into somewhere?

Larry: What are you going to do without your coffin?
J.C: Do not fear, Lawrence, all I need is darkness, or rather a lack of sunlight. The coffin itself is not absolutely necessary, simply more secure

Anita: Vampires have a very unique sense of what's harmful, don't they, Jean-Claude?
J.C: I sense accusation in your eyes, but remember this, ma petite, you asked me to bring you here. So do not blame this particular problem on me

J.C: I do not know if my companions are able to walk. They are feeling a little drained
Anita: You are drunk
J.C: I believe I am
Anita: You can't be drunk on blood
J.C: I've drunk deep of two mortals, but neither of you are human
Anita: What the hell are you talking about?
J.C: Necromancer with a chaser of werewolf; a drink to make any vampire giddy

J.C: It is the wee hours of the morning, ma petite. The room service menu is somewhat limited. Jason has donated blood twice to me tonight; he needed protein. It was either take-out, or he could eat Larry. I thought you'd prefer take-out.

J.C: It comes
Anita: What comes?
J.C: The sun

JC: Have you ever wondered what it would be like to feel my breath upon your skin? My lips along your neck. The hard brush of teeth. The sweet, sharp pain of fangs. Your heart beating frantically against my chest. Your blood flowing into my veins. Sharing yourself. Giving me life. Knowing that I truly could not live without you, all of you.

JC: No fear, I will protect you, I swear it

Anita: Vampires don't eat solid food
JC: Exactly
Anita: I hate blackberries
JC: They were always my favorite. I hadn't tasted them in centuaries

JC: You may have the bed, ma petite, an I will take the coffin. I think you nerves are raw enough without me dying in your arms as the sun rises.

JC: Lissette was my creator. She was of Belle's line, but not a master vampire, not by any stretch of the definition. In France it is customary that that every kiss of vampires has at least one vampire belonging to each of the Council bloodlines. Lissette was the only one of her kind in a nest descended mostly of far less pleasant vampires. Julian was her Master of the City, and he was my first true master.

JC: What am I to do with the two of you?
Anita: Don't ask me, I just work here

Anita: Do you smell roses?
JC: Roses? I smell nothing but the scent of your perfume, and skin. And blood.



J.C: Even for your love, there are things I would not do

J.C. I want to do the wicked dance with you before you leave

JC: It never works as I want it with you, Anita Blake. Why is that?
Anita: Maybe you should take the hint, and leave me alone.

JC: Lust is warm, ma petite, even among the cold-blooded

Anita: You're an irritaiting son of a bitch
J.C: Ah, ma petite, how can I resist when you whisper such sweet endearments to me?

Anita: I said no sexual innuendo, remember?
J.C: As I remember, you said no sexual innuendo until after you were clean. (smiles) You're Clean
Anita: (sighs) Trust you to be so literal

Anita: I felt pretty spiffy until I saw you. Now I feel like one of the ugly stepsisters.
J.C: You know you look lovely, ma petite. Shall I feed your vanity by telling you how much?

Anita: You are a pain in the ass
J.C: And so many other places

JC: You are being tactful, ma petite. I would not have thought it of you.
Anita: Could you stamp your feet next time? I'm getting sick of you sneaking up on me.
JC: I wasn't sneaking, ma petite. You were distracted talking to our handsome Mr. Zeeman.

JC: You reject me at every turn. Why do I put up with it?
Anita: I am hoping you'll get tired of me.
JC: I am hoping to have you with me forever, ma petite. I would not make the offer if I thought I would grow bored.

Anita: What are you trying to do to me Jean-Claude?
JC: Seduce you, of course.
Anita: Of course. Silly me.

Anita: Jean-Claude hasn't given up. He keeps sending me gifts. I keep refusing them. I have to keep saying no until he gives up, or until hell freezes over, whichever comes first.

J.C: Ma petite has a date with her other beau
Sabin: So you agree truly allowing her to date another. I thought that at least must be rumour.
J.C: Very little of what you hear about ma petite is rumour. Believe all you hear.

Anita: Who are the other two in the painting?
J.C: Julianna and Asher. She was his human servant. The three of us travelled together for nearly twenty years.

Anita: Why did you hang the painting if it bothers you this much?
J.C: Asher sent it as a present, to congratulate me for becoming Master of the City. The three of us were companions, almost family. Asher and I were true friends, both masters, both of near equal power, both in love with Julianna. She was devoted to him, but I had her favor as well..

J.C: Asher always had a strong sense of irony, ma petite. He petitioned the council for your life, not mine.
Anita: What did I ever do to him?
J.C: I killed his human servant; he kills mine. Justice.
Anita: The council said no?
J.C: Indeed
Anita You have any other old enemies running round?
J.C: Many, ma petite, but none in town at the moment.

J.C: What do you offer me, ma petite?
Anita: Blood
J.C: And sex?
Anita: Which would you rather have, right this minute?
J.C: Blood
Anita: Remember, it was your choice.
J.C: Touché, ma petite, but I am beginning to have hopes that this will not be the last time I am given the choice

J.C: I have been a lady's man for nearly three hundred years, Anita. Why is it only with you that I am awkward?
Anita: Maybe it's a hint
J.C: Perhaps

J.C: You have a habit, ma petite, of taking all the fun out of seducing you
Anita: Yippee. Now, can we get down to business

J.C: I would give you anything you wanted, ma petite, if you would only let me
Anita: I wanted you out of my life. You don't seem to want to do that
J.C: No, ma petite, I do not want to do that

JC: Do not worry, my little animator. I will not touch you. That would be cheating.

JC: I know you are there, ma petite. Did you call merely to hear the sound of my voice?

JC: I do not want you to be unpleasantly surprised, ma petite. I am striving for honesty, since you value it so highly. I have never done this with anyone, but most things are sexual between us, whether we will or no, so it is likely this will be, too.

Zebrowski: Better get him under wraps before dawn. Take care of her.
JC: I will take care of her as much as she allows it
Zebrowski: Oh, he does know you



JC: Anita, how good of you to come

Anita: You just wanted to walk in front so I'd have to stare at your butt
J.C: No one makes you stare, ma petite, not even me.

J.C. Trust you do bring death to the ball, ma petite

Antia: I trusted Jean-Claude to stay alive. I didn't trust him to tell the truth sitting on a stack of bibles!

Anita: I killed the things that gave me this scar
J.C. What a coincidence, so did I

Anita: Even I have my limits
J.C: So nice to know

J.C:Could you truly kill me?
Anita: Yes
J.C: You are the most stubborn woman I have ever met
Anita: That's the nicest compliment you've ever paid me.

Anita:Pimps beware. I was bringing the Master as backup. It was like carrying a thermonuclear device to kill ants. Over kill has always been a speciality of mine.

Anita: What are you afraid of?
Richard: Airplanes, guns, large predators, and master vampires
Anita: I agree with two out of four

Anita: Asking Jean-Claude not to be a pain in the ass is like asking rain not be wet. Why try?

JC: I almost had you, my little animator
Anita: Almost doesn't count, you blood-sucking bastard

J.C: Nothing is certain, ma petite, not even death

J.C: It is all right to be a lady, Anita. Its is not a bad thing being a woman
Anita: You try being one, then talk to me

Anita: I thought about that for a minute. Jean-Claude dead, really dead. It would make my life easier, but...but.

JC: You make everything so difficult.
Anita: Glad you noticed.

JC: You would miss me if I were not here.
Anita: Don't flatter yourself.

Anita: Hell, Defiantly Hell.
JC: What, ma petite?
Anita: I was wondering where I was. If you're here, it has to be Hell.

JC: I think she is being sarcastic. She can't be too badly hurt if she is making jokes.

Anita: Spiffy, very spiffy
J.C: Ah, ma petite, always the perfect thing to say.

Anita: Enough games, let's get it done.
Dumare: Is she always this impatient?
J.C: Yes

Anita: He was behaving himself terribly well. Jean-Claude was a world class pain in the ass. It wasn't like him to be a good boy.

J.C: Nervous, ma petite?
Anita: Yes
J.C: Yes, you are nervous. Why does one human assassin unnerve you so much more than all the preternatural creatures you have faced?
Anita: Everyone else who wanted to kill me, it was personal. I understand personal. Whoever this is wants to kill me because it's business. Just business.
J.C: But why is that more frightening to you? You will be just as dead, regardless of your assailant's motives.
Anita: Thanks a lot
J.C: I am trying to understand, ma petite, that is all.

J.C: Thoughts are flying across you face, ma petite, but what thoughts?
Anita: I think I owe you an apology.
J.C: Then this is a truly historic occasion. What are you apologizing for?
Anita: You're right: I'm wrong.
J.C: You admit that you have treated me like some guilty secret, hidden away. Exiled from your true feelings while you cuddle Richard and his living flesh
Anita: Enough already. See if I ever give you another apology for anything.

Anita: It's 4:30 in the morning. I want to go to bed.
J.C: Why, ma petite, you are not usually so eager.
Anita: You know what I mean.
J.C: I know exactly what you mean, ma petite.

Anita: No is one of my favourite words, Jean-Claude. You should know that by now.
J.C: I survive on hope alone, ma petite

J.C: Only you could choose two men in one human lifetime that are this confusing.
Anita: I didn't do it on purpose

J.C: Ma petite, are you all right?
Anita: I'm all right, I'm all right. What did you do behind my back to piss him off?
J.C: I did tease Monsieur Zeeman. Perhaps I even wanted a fight. Jealousy is a foolish emotion. How was I to know you would not move out of the way of a charging werewolf?
Anita: I don't back up, not for anyone. Though next time, maybe I'll make an exception

J.C: Don't you realise by now, Richard, that ma petite is either your equal or your master? She knows no other way to be.

Anita: No teeth, no blood
J.C: As my lady wishes

Anita: Can I still be the scourge of vampire kind when I'm sleeping with the head bloodsucker?
You bet.

Anita: You can criticize a lot about jc, but he gives good phone.

J.C: Good evening ma petite
Anita: I'm near Branson. I need to contact the Master of the City down here.
J.C: No "Good evening, Jean-Claude, how are you doing?"? Just down to business. How terribly rude, mp

Anita: How the hell did you get in here?
J.C: The desk clerk let me in
Anita: Why would he do that?
J.C: Because I asked him to

Anita: You are such a pain in the ass
J.C: So nice of you to notice, ma petite

J.C: Do you like it?
Anita: Yeah, it's spiffy
J.C: Spiffy?
Anita: You just can't take a compliment
J.C: My apologies, ma petite. It was a compliment. Thank you

Larry: Stop calling me Lawrence. The name is Larry
J.C: You have trained him well
Anita: He came that way
J.C: pity

J.C: I will hear what you are saying no matter where I stand in this room
Anita: Illusion is all; just back off

J.C: I will remember that you saved me, ma petite. You could have been free of me. Thank you.

J.C: I do not understand you, ma petite. I try, but still I do not
Anita: You're pretty much a riddle to me, too. If that's any comfort

J.C: Your clothes, ma petite, are on the driver's side. Those are Lawrence's clothes
Larry: You've got to be kidding

Anita: Can you stay out of my dreams, at least
JC: That, I can do. I am sorry, ma petite
Anita: Stop calling me that

JC: My heart is all aflutter with anticipation
Anita: Sarcasm is my department
JC: And what is my department?
Anita: I'm about to ask you a favor
JC: You know that you have only to ask, and it will be yours. No matter how angry I may be with you.

JC: First, ma petite, what clothes are you wearing?
Anita: Is this a joke? Because I don't have time....
JC: It is not an idle question, ma petite. The sooner you answer, the sooner we can all leave.

Anita: Why didn't you warn me that I couldn't control it?
JC: I never underestimate you, ma petite. If anyone I have ever known in all these centuries could have withstood such a test, it was you. So I did not tell you you would fail, because I no longer try to predict what power will do to you, or through you. You are a law unto yourself so much of the time.

JC: Ma petite?
Anita: I'm here
JC: Is there anything I can get you?
Anita: Some aspirin and a toothbrush
JC: You could ask me to cut my heart out at this moment, and I might do it. Instead you ask for aspirin and a toothbrush.



Anita: Why do the French always know exactly what to say at times like this?
J.C: Its genetic, ma petite

J.C. Je reve de toi (French for "I dream of you")

J.C: Don't worry, ma petite. Cassandra won't share blood with me, either. She and Richard have many similarities. I believe that Richard chose her for me because she bears a certain resemblance to you, not just physically, but a certain je ne sais quoi
Anita: je ne sais quoi is French for nothing
J.C: It means an indefinable something that is difficult to put into words, ma petite. A quality that transcends vocabulary.
Cassandra: He does talk pretty, doesn't he?
Anita: He has his moments

J.C: I was the wipping boy for an aristrocat's son

J.C: I was their only son's constant companion. When he had clothes made, so did I. His tutor was my tutor. His riding instructor, mine. I learned swordplay and dancing and the proper way to eat at table. And when he was bad I was punished, because he was their only child, their only heir to an old family name. People speak of child abuse now. They complain of spanking. They have no idea what true abuse is. When I was a boy, parents thought nothing of taking a horse whip to a misbehaving child, or beating them bloody. Even the aristocrat's beat their children. It was normal. But he was the only heir, the only child. So they paid money to my parents and took me. The lady of the manor chose me because I was fair of face. When the vampire who made me sought me out, she said my beauty called to her.

Asher: She bridges life and death
JC: Exactement

Anita: So you wanted me because I was such a tough broad?
JC: Oui, ma petite

Anita: You are not taking a bath
JC: I will be quick, ma petite
Anita: You have never taken a quick bath in your entire life
Asher: Mon cherie, she is right


As you like

J.C: Oui, ma petite. Vous dispose a apprendre
Anita: Stop it
J.C: As you like

Anita: Hello Jean-Claude
J.C: Greetings, ma petite
Anita: Don't call me ma petite
J.C: As you like

Anita: It isn't a god, Jean Claude.
JC: Are you sure?
Anita:I'm a monotheist, remember. It's just another supernatural creepycrawlie to me.
JC: As you like, ma petite.

JC: You always did have a way with words, ma petite
Anita: Stop calling that, dammit
JC: As you like, Anita

Anita: When can you be here?
J.C: I will be there as soon as I can, my impatient flower
Anita: I prefer ma petite to flower
J.C: As you like, ma petite

Anita: Oh great, great, you guys nearly killed each other, and that makes you buddies.
JC: Let us say we have an understanding
Anita: Jesus, only men could get a friendship out of something like this.
JC: You are friends with Monsieur Edward. Did you not both begin by trying to kill each other?
Anita: That's different
JC: How?

JC: I will be quick, ma petite, my word on it
Anita: .... when it comes to primping, you have no sense of time.
Bobby Lee: I thought that was the man's line
Anita: Couldn't prove it by me

Anita: I can make it
J.C: Of that, ma petite, I have no doubt. You are weak, ma petite. Let me help you
Anita: Stop doing that, dammit
J.C: As you like, ma petite


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