"So. You know my name. What's yours?"
"Death"
Spike looked for a sign that there was a punch line coming. A punch line that didn't involve a bullet punching through his muscled chest. He stared into the dark pitiless eyes of the man opposite. They had lost the sparkle of before. He was serious. Spike gulped, took a second and fell back on his wise cracks. He had many years of Angelus. He could talk big. "Shouldn't you have a horse and a scythe?"
"Traded it in for the silver"
"Oh"
"Shall we go?"
"As you said. Don't seem to have a choice" yet. Spike added silently.
Death gestured Spike onward.
"Can't be calling you death." Spike said. "What's your real name?"
"You can call me Ted." The man touched his hat. Put the gun in the band of his shorts. Gave Spike his best good ol' boy smile and stuck out his hand. "Ted Forester, Bounty Hunter" the smile changed his face completely.
Spike shook his hand. "That your real name?" he asked.
"Spike yours?"
"I answer to it."
"Same here"
"Yeah" Spike nodded. "Where we going?"
"If you don't behave yourself, Spike. You will be going into the business end of a dust buster"
Spike turned to see Xander. Buffy and Willow stood either side of him.
"Hey. What's with the pick on Spike night. Was there a memo I missed?" Spike protested. Ted wrapped an arm around the pale skinned man. Held himself close enough so that Spike could feel the gun in the small of his back. Ted laugh and smiled and bright unthreatening smile to the trio in front of him. "Hi. I'm Ted Forester. You are?" Buffy and Willow exchanged looks. They were wondering why a stranger was introducing himself to them. They never met new people. But it was worth a try. Everyone couldn't be a baddy waiting in the wings.
"Hi. I'm Buffy" Buffy smiled. Ted took her hand and kissed it. He then took Willow's hand and did the same.
"Pleased to meet you….?"
"Willow", she giggled. Not so much with the boys any more, but the gentleman routine still made her heart flutter.
"Willow" Ted grinned. "Pretty name for a pretty lady"
Xander took a step back. "Nice to meet you partner" Ted stuck his hand out and gave Xander a firm handshake.
Spike stood beside him and smirked. "Don't be trying to introducing yourself to me like that. I'll never get the lipstick off my knuckles" He gave a pleased as punch look.
Xander quipped, quick as a flash."Plus it doesn't go with his nail varnish".
Spike clasped his hands behind his back. If he could hit someone, Xander was top of his list. "Shut it brick boy"
Xander got up in the vampire's face "Make me".
Buffy got in-between them. "Enough guys". Xander backed down. Buffy smiled at Ted and scowled at Spike.
"We have business to take care of," Ted said apologetically.
"Let's get to it then. Defiantly no Scooby stuff going on here" He tried to tell Buffy with his eyes he was being kidnapped. By a shorts wearing, gun toting bloke who was known as Death no less. Ah stuff it. Spike thought. Sounds like every other day in Sunnyhell.
Buffy scowled some more. Willow backed her up. Xander looked at Spike and this charming man. What was he doing with the vampire? What do I care, Xander thought, maybe he'll take him somewhere and not take him back. "Nice to meet you. Buffy, Willow. Xander. Enjoy your night." He tipped his hat and guided Spike along to a waiting non-descript car. The slayerettes made their way to their regular haunt, the Bronze.
"Can we stop at the next services?" Spike said the first words in over an hour.
Ted didn't even look at him.
"Can I at least put the radio on? I'm bored" Spike reached for the radio.
Ted rotated his head ninety degrees to face the passenger. His eyes locked. Spike felt his already cold body get colder.
"Oh!" he said. "You have to teach me how to do that" Spike blew him a kiss. He huffed up to full annoying vamp stature and turned the radio on.
When he looked up again, he saw the barrel of the gun pointed at his head.
"If you wanted me dead mate, I wouldn't be sitting here" He reached down and turned the radio up. Spike tapped along with the music coming out of the speakers beneath their feet.
Ted slammed his feet down on the brakes. Spike's head bashed off the dashboard. The car screeched to a halt. The cars behind swerved to avoid the obstacle. A chorus of horn blasts passed them.
"I. Can. Find. Another. Way" Ted punched the words at him. Pushed the safety off. Spike gulped. If he had bodily function, it would be brown trouser time. But Spike would rather be dead than be bored on a long car journey. He had his limits.
"I have my limits you know." See. Limits. "You don't just take a bloke out for a innocent walk…."
"You were casing the houses for people to rob" Ted stated.
"How did you?" Spike was flabbergasted. He thought he was being subtle. "I mean, no I wasn't." Ted looked at him. "I wasn't" Spike protested. "Even if I was". Spike struggled to look indignant and pissed off at a gun in his face. The second part was easy. Guns were cheating. "Even if I was. Don't see what business of yours?" Spike put his hand to his bleeding head. "What the hell did you do that for?"
"Remind you who is holding the gun"
"Give it here and I'll tell you"
Ted turned the radio off with his other hand.
"Worth a try"
He put his seat belt on. He could always rip through it if he had to make a quick getta way. Ted put the gun away at the side of the driver's seat. Easy to grab again. He glanced toward the glove compartment. Indicated Spike could open it. Which he did. Inside was a set of country and western tapes and a novel. Spike put the tape in and winced at the song. Ted started driving again. "Do you like this crap?"
"No"
Spike grinned. He was getting to like this bugger. He picked up the book. Started to read Mort, by Terry Pratchett.
They pulled into the driveway of a small house. The sun had just gone down. Ted turns off the engine and picked up his gun. "Out" He pointed towards the door.
"Door to door service. Remind me to recommend you to all the people I want kidnapped" Spike grinned and took off his seat belt. Spike noticed that the roses were blooming early and that the borders had been cut just a little too short. Nothing better to do in the daytime but watch TV. Spike had picked up information, including gardening. It had sunk in, no matter how much he tried to stop it. He had to restrain himself from asking for shears. He was most likely going to be fertiliser soon so what did he care if the rose bush was over grown. Ted checked out the sounding area for people. Spike had done the same thing. But he had good hearing. The area was clear and there were three people in the house.
"In" Ted pointed towards the door.
"Man of few words" Spike stomped off towards the door. He stopped by the door "After you" Ted showed the gun. Gave him another cold look. The bleach haired man shivered. "I guess I'm going first then" Ted smiled. Spike shivered worse. He had the feeling that even without the gun he could kill him in fifty different ways. Spike really like him now. "You want to knock or shall I?"
"Its not locked. Just go in"
"Don't work that way mate"
"I thought we were getting to an understanding here"
Ted's gun was pointing at him again. Spike turned his back to the door and squared off. Enough was enough. He was hungry, kidnapped and pissed off. "Look. I've had about enough of the silent and deadly act"
"Act?" a voice from behind him said.
"Just bringing our" he hesitated, a genuine smile played on his lips "guest."
Spike turned to see a small woman with raven black curly hair. "Your roses need pruning" Spike stated. What am I saying? He thought.
"Been a bit busy," she said.
"Doesn't pay to let these things slip"
"Guess it doesn't"
"Tell you what. I'll just go back to my place. Get my shears. Be back later and give them a bit of a clip" He made to leave. "Be seeing you mate," He said to Ted.
Ted raised his gun. Putting it to the vampire's forehead. "Silver ammo?" the girl asked.
"Always" Ted stated.
"That's going to be messy"
"Always" Ted grinned. He was tired and hungry and had been listening to Spike snigger at the book and Dolly Parton warble for hours.
"No need to get messy. I'm a nice tame vampire. All chipped up" Spike said tapping his skull. "If I wasn't. I'd be picking you out of my teeth by now" He took a step back.
Ted put the gun into his waistband. "Hit me"
"What? Are you out of your tree? Or did all that country and western music fry your brain?" Spike took another step back. Into another gun barrel. What had he been dragged in to? The girl stuck the barrel into his shoulder blade about heart height.
"Silver ammo?" Ted asked.
"Always"
"That's going to be messy"
"Always"
"Been here before haven't we kiddies" Spike sighed. He hated the fact these guys were friends. Was going to be difficult to break in and play them off each other. Why fight someone if you can get someone else to do it?
"Hit him" The gun pressed harder.
"You want a bit of show and tell? Fine." Spike closed his fist and shot it out towards the man in front of him. Ted ducked and Spike grabbed his head. The sparks ripples through him. His knees gave way and he crumpled to the ground. He had really meant to hurt the bugger so it hurt him more. "That" He drew breath "hurt".
"Good. Doesn't have to make contact for it to work." Ted said.
"You want a coffee?" the girl asked.
" Wouldn't say no pet," Spike whimpered from the ground.
"She wasn't talking to you" Ted said.
"Got some pigs blood in the microwave and coffee on the hotplate. Everyone gets something while we have the time Edward"
"You always have the best manners with monsters Anita" Edward smiled. Ted was back in his box where he belonged.
"Edward?"
"I answer to it"
"Oh"
"Get in the house"
Spike pulled himself up. "Tried to tell you before mate. Don't work that way"
Edward pulled the gun out again. It was really getting more difficult pulling it out and not using it. "One. More. Time. Spike." He punched out, making sure to use his name as part of the threat it implied. "In"
"Is this your house pet?" Spike asked.
"Yes. And I'm not your pet" Anita had put her gun in her waistband and looked up into Spikes eyes.
"Fine luv. Anita?" She nodded. "He doesn't know much about vampires. What about you?"
"I know a few things." She smiled at him. Reminding him a little of Buffy. He did sense something was strange about the girl, but defiantly not a slayer.
"Well, the whole needing invitation thing can't have gotten past you then?"
"Oh" Realisation came into her eyes. "Edward. Stand down. He's can't come in unless I ask him"
Spike stuck his tongue out at Edward.
"You want to loose some of the attitude around Edward. He knows enough about vampires to kill them." Anita warned, taking Spike by the arm.
"And she knows everything else you need to kill them" Edward added blankly.
"Bloody marvellous" Spike shrugged her hand off his arm. "Another bint with a thing for killing vamps. Why can't I ever meet nice normal people" He heard Edwards's safeties going off again. He didn't turn round.
"You going to invite me in then?" He asked Anita. "I want to meet your friends inside. Hopefully they won't keep pulling guns on me?" He looked hopefully at Anita.
She smiled. "I like you Spike. Don't make me change my mind till we have finished with you."
"Fine" Spike said resigned to his fate.
"Edward?" Anita looked at him. Saying, I know you are pissed off but, put the gun away.
"Fine"
"Come in Spike"
"98.6 degrees?"
"What?"
"The blood?" Anita asked.
"Yeah. I'll skip the how'd you know that. I don't sodding well care" Spike slumped down on the white sofa, next to the small red-hair man. Nodding to him in greeting. Larry grinned. But moved a little away from the bleached vampire. Being careful not to meet his eyes. Anita noticed and looked on approvingly. He went through his pockets for a cigarette.
Larry stuttered out a weak "Could you…. Em…" Larry was trying to give up the habit.
"Spit it out there junior" I know exactly what you are trying to ask, Spike thought. A smile played across his lips.
"Spike." Edward sat across the small coffee table. He stared coldly at the dead man. Spike shivered. I know what you are trying to tell me too mate.
"Fine" Spike said. "I'll not smoke in front of the children" Larry shuffled uncomfortably. "Sorry pal. Rude of me. Spike" He held out his hand. Catching the sound of three safeties being switched he took it back again. "Will one of you give me a cuppa or just shoot me" Spike was tired of this crap. "I'm tired of this crap. You want to come out and explain to me what is going on?" Spike addressed the person in the bedroom.
He stared at Anita who was bringing him a mug with penguins on. He reached for it. Edward and the person behind him put their guns away. Anita had put hers back in her waistband so quickly and smoothly Spike hardly noticed.
"Dangerous aren't we." Spike stated, "Picking on a poor neutered vampire and waving guns around. " He took the mug from Anita. It had penguins sledging down a hill on it. "Nice mug luv." Spike drawled. He looked at her over the brim "Bet you've got a couple of stuffed ones lying round, with knifes sticking out of them"
Anita looked at Edward. Asking him silently if he had been talking out of class. Edward's eyes spoke one word. No.
Spike watched. Funny. I was right. "You have stuffed penguins?"
Anita faced him squarely. "Yes" she said quietly. Larry burst out laughing. Spike joined him. "Hey. No fair laughing Larry" Anita sighed. "How can I be all threatening when you laugh at me?" Through the tears Larry tried to apologise. Anita cracked a smile. It was kind of funny.
"You want to introduced me to your friend ?"Spike said.
"Ma petite wouldn't exactly call me her friend" a French accent came from behind Spike. Spike didn't turn.
"William the Bloody, meet Jean-Claude"
Jean-Claude walked into view and bowed slightly. He was wearing a dark purple, almost black velvet suit. A black silk shirt hung loosely at the collar and cuffs. His dark hair curled round his pale face and down round his shoulders.
"Salutations and welcome to St. Louis"
"My thanks for your gracious greeting and for you hospitality" Spike chanted.
"Well, if I ever get any. All I've had so far is guns and mystery. Got a mind not to stay" he tutted shifted in his seat.
"My apologies." Jean- Claude glided into the chair opposite "I see you are familiar with the ways of the council."
"Familiar with a lot of things mate. When it suits me"
"You are going to have to get familiar with this situation, William. Ma petite has made it clear that you have the skills we are looking for."
"Useful am I? Have skills, you need?" Spike looked at the people sitting opposite. Useful meant not getting dusted. Useful meant he held the cards. A smug look came over his face.
Jean -Claude moved quicker than Spike could see, his head spun. "Useful miesuier Bloody, does not mean indispensable"
Spike growled and morphed into his grr face. It had been an age since anyone had rolled his mind like that. He didn't like it.
"Back off Jean- Claude. You are scaring Larry" Anita put her hand on his arm. Not applying pressure or a threat. Larry looked at Jean-Claude with fear in his eyes. Edward sat opposite, eyes cold as ice, hand on the gun.
"I am sorry, ma petite. You are correct. This is not a time to be fighting amongst ourselves." He backed away.
"What happened to his face?" Larry asked Anita quietly. Anita shrugged. Edward didn't care and his face showed it.
"Side effect. Vampires who stay at the Hellmouth change to use their immortal strength" Jean-Claude filled them in.
"It has its advantages as well mate" Spike stated.
"I don't see how that " Larry shifted in his seat to get a closer look "is an advantage."
"Hey now. This isn't show and tell kiddies" Spike changed back with a shake of his head.
"You can do that at will?" Anita asked.
"Not recently. She was the first person I couldn't do it at." Spike smirked at his own joke. Willow would have liked that one. The room was full of blank faces. "Willow, Will, Red? I got the feeling you had done the Nancy Drew bit. Chipped vampire, known associates and all that."
The phone rang. Anita went to answer it. Edward went for some more coffee.
"If that's for me, tell 'em I'm busy" the British vamp called after Anita as she went into the hallway.
"Can I ask you something?" Jean - Claude met his eyes. Spike looked away.
"Don't be concerned. I will not bespell you, this time." Larry watched with interest.
"You want some popcorn there Larry?" Spike asked. Eyebrow rising.
"Would you be so kind as to check on Jason? He was sleeping, but I feel we shall soon be leaving" Larry was torn between learning more about this type of vampire and obeying the "request" of the master of the city. Sighing he pushed himself up from the sofa. Edward took his coffee from the kitchen area, sat down in the living room again. Sitting so he could see both bloodsuckers, reach his coffee and his gun. Spike was impressed.
"What would you like to know pet?"
"Was it worth it?" Jean-Claude asked seriously.
"Yes and No"
"A very vampire answer" Edward said. Looking at Jean Claude.
"He is a vampire"
Jean-Claude nodded to a space behind Edward. "I believe ma petite wishes to speak to you"
Edward got up. "Stay with our guest"
"No need. I can entertain myself. In fact, I'll go out for a take out. What would you...?" Spike stopped. Stared in to the barrel of Edward's gun. "...Like to go with that pretty gun. I'm sure they deliver" He sat back further in the sofa. The chances were this wasn't going to be a restful night. Edward returned the gun to his waistband.
Spike put his hand down the side of the sofa. You never knew what you could find. He pulled out a candy bar wrapper. Jean-Claude watched on, too amused to say much. Spike ignored him. Kept digging down. A used tissue came next "Aw, bloody hell. Ew." He threw it down to the floor and shook his hand. He put his hand back down into the soft fabric. His hand toughed something familiar. A small glass bottle. "Bingo" He grinned. Pulling out a bottle of nail polish. He held it up to the light and shook it. It was dark red, almost blood coloured. He opened and drew his left leg under him in a figure of four. He started to paint his left forefinger's nail. "Not my usual colour. But what do you think?" He held his hand out to Jean-Claude. "Most suitable," he said. He stopped watching the blonde man paint his nails. His attention now on Anita and Edward, who were standing talking in the doorway.