"Will you two keep it down please!" Maria sighed looking up from her keyboard.
Angel & Spike stopped throwing paperclips at each other and looked at her sheepishly.
"Sorry." They said. "We're bored!"
"I know you are guys, but I have work to do. If I don't get this done, I'll never get back to finishing your story."
Angel & Spike hung their heads in mock shame. Maria tried to hide her smile. She turned back to the monitor and started typing again.
"And what have I told you about boots on the desk?" She added.
"Oops!" Angel & Spike muttered together. They gathered up the paperclips and then plonked themselves on the top edge of her mouse mat and started pulling off their boots.
~~~3 days earlier~~~
Cordelia, Wesley, Spike & Angel looked up as Gunn came back into the hotel.
"You are never gonna believe this." He said
"Good news?" Enquired Wesley hopefully.
"Oh Yeah." Replied Gunn. "The guy gave me this. Gave me it! How weird is that? Just handed it over. I didn't even get the chance to say anything. He just said this is what you need, and handed it over! We should go to him for information more often!"
Wesley took the stapled sheets of paper and quickly read through them. After a few minutes of ummm's and ah-ha's! The rest of them could take it no longer.
"What's it say?" They demanded.
"Well..." Wesley began. "Okay..."
"Yes?" They prompted.
"The prophecy we need hasn't yet been written."
"What?" They all gasped.
"Well, part of it has." He continued.
"Can you get to the point Wesley?" Spike asked. "Before I'm forced to try and kill you!"
"The prophecy is being written, as we speak. Or it would be if the author didn't have writers block!" Wesley informed them.
"A prophecy, not yet written?" Angel's eyebrows knitted together.
"That's new." Added Cordelia.
"Apparently there was a prophet in the early 1800's wrote most of the things we read today. He had lots to tell but was brutally murdered before he got the chance to finish. Now all these years later, his great, great, etc. granddaughter has been gifted with these prophecies, which come to her in dreams, and she writes as fictional stories. According to this, the story she's working on at the moment, will become the prophecy we're looking for." Wesley read aloud from the sheet of paper.
"Great, so what do we do?" Angel asked.
"Well..." Continued Wesley. "It says here, that the good vampires, I presume that's you and Spike." He nodded towards Spike. "Must become her muses, and, help her finish the story."
"What?" Gasped Spike.
"How?" Said Angel.
"Well, this is where it gets interesting." Said Wesley. "There's a spell here that will send you to her. She lives on a remote Scottish island."
"Uh-huh." They replied together.
"Basically it's you job to help her with her work, freeing up her time to write and inspiring her by helping her to get to grips with your characters!"
Spike & Angel glowered at him.
Cordelia, who was reading over Wesley's shoulder, burst out laughing.
"What?" Said Angel & Spike panicked.
"One of the things..." Said Wesley, smiling himself. "Is that you won't quite be yourselves."
"Wesley?" Angel & Spike growled.
"It says here, you'll be able to go out in daylight; you'll crave coffee instead of blood..."
Spike & Angel looked well impressed.
"...And you'll be about 90% of your original size!" Cordelia finished collapsing into giggles.
"Eh!?!" Yelled Spike as Angel, grabbed the papers from Wesley. "No way!"
And so it had been, that a few hours later Angel & Spike had stood inside the magic circle, closed their eyes at the bright flash of light and opened them again to find they were sitting one behind the other, on a green stuffed dog, on top of a monitor, looking into the bright blue eyes of a giant.
She smiled at them. "Hi guys." She said.
"You're Maria?" Angel asked.
"Yup, and you're here to help." She replied.
"You knew we were coming?" Spike queried.
"Oh yeah! Had a dream. Told me everything. You're here to help me finish my latest story. Bad news though, I have way too much work on to be able to write." She frowned.
The plan originally had been to get it done and get back as quickly as possible. Spike & Angel hadn't expected to have so much fun though.
Maria was a free-lance web designer working on a big project that was taking up most of her time. Hence the lack of prophecy writing. She was fun to be with though and was always laughing at their antics.
They discovered the reason they had to drink coffee instead of blood was that Maria was a caffeine junkie and fainted at the sight of blood. Considering their size there was no way they could obtain the blood themselves so, coffee it was.
Maria had those large cappuccino cups and a jug of filter coffee beside her pc. She had gotten straws from small juice cartons and stuck them in one of the cups so they could easily get to the coffee. She also let them mess about on her desk as long as they kept it down and didn't wear their boots.
After taking their boots off Spike & Angel padded across to stand in front of Maria looking at the screen.
"Can we help?" Asked Angel.
"Sure." Maria replied. She held out her hand and Angel grabbed hold of her finger. She lifted him up and placed him on her shoulder.
"Okay?" She asked him.
"Mmm-hmm." He replied.
She did the same for Spike, placing him on her other shoulder. She then proceeded to explain to them what she was currently working on and they spent the rest of the afternoon arguing about the fonts and colour schemes.
At one point the discussion got a little heated and Spike stalked across Maria's shoulder, then using her jumper as a handhold made his way across the back of her neck to confront Angel.
They stood on her shoulder yelling at each other until Maria yelled. "ENOUGH!!!" Unfortunately, as they were balanced on her shoulder, the action caught them off guard and they both fell off her shoulder, landing with a splash in her coffee cup.
Maria laughed until she thought her sides would burst at the two of them standing there in the middle of her coffee shooting daggers at each other, and her.
"When you're quite finished." Spike scowled at her.
"Could you help us out of here, please?" Finished Angel.
"Sorry." She grinned and put her hand to the cup.
They grabbed hold of her fingers and she lifted them out and placed them on the desk. They dripped coffee forming a puddle around them. Maria pulled a tissue from the box on the desk, tore it in half and gave them a piece each.
"Dry off." She told them. "Then I think we'll go home."
She shut down her machine as they dried themselves off and put their boots on again. She then put on her jacket and picked up her rucksack. Spike & Angel climbed into the side pocket and she lifted the bag onto her shoulders before heading out.
This was one of the things Spike & Angel liked the best. Maria had a nice black Suzuki GSX motorbike and they liked to hang out the pocket of her rucksack and enjoy the ride.
They stopped at the supermarket and she placed them on her shoulders again. They tucked themselves into her scarf beside her neck; so that they wouldn't be seen and told her what they wanted her to buy. Ice cream and Pizza were their favourite things. They had been so excited about the idea of needing to eat again that Maria had been letting them have pretty much anything they wanted.
"We need milk." Angel whispered in her ear.
"And Rocky Road." Chimed Spike from the other side.
"We have plenty of ice cream." She whispered.
"No Rocky Road though." Spike pointed out.
"Only 'cause pig boy already snarfed it all." Whispered Angel.
Maria chuckled.
"Well, I told you you should have bought a full size tub and not one of those single servings." Huffed Spike.
"How could anyone eat that much ice cream in three days?" She asked.
Spike looked sheepish and decided it was best to shut up now.
Half an hour later shopping, video and vampires packed safely into her rucksack Maria got back on her bike and they headed for home.
Home was a spacious flat a few blocks from Maria's office. Maria went in, flicked on the light and dropped her keys on the table beside the door. She carried her rucksack to the kitchen and plonked it down on the counter. While she took off her jacket and went to hang it up Spike & Angel climbed out of the pocket in her bag, shrugged off their jackets and took off their boots.
"Coffee?" She asked picking up the kettle.
"You bet." They both nodded, hanging their coats on the disused key rack above the worktop and lining their boots up underneath.
While the kettle boiled she busied herself putting away the shopping and Angel & Spike argued over whether to have pizza or burgers for tea.
"Okay guys!" Maria said reaching into the cupboard. "You've asked for it." She pulled out a jar of pasta. "And now your gonna get it."
"Healthy food!" They cried in disgust. "Aww no!"
"Guys." She rolled her eyes at them. "Junk food is bad for you. I know you're already dead, but I'm not. I can't eat this stuff every night unless I want to end up like the Goodyear blimp!"
They looked up at her and tried to pout but ended up laughing.
After tea and Happy Days, Maria announced it was bath time.
"Woo-hoo!" They cheered.
They climbed up her arm to her shoulder and she carried them and the plates to the kitchen. She put the plates in the dishwasher then went through to the bathroom. Putting the plug in the sink, she then filled it with warm water followed by some bubble bath. Spike & Angel stripped down to their shorts.
"Okay you two." She said turning off the tap.
Spike & Angel turned away from her and put their hands over their eyes as Maria got undressed and climbed into the shower. When they heard her pull the curtain across, they uncovered their eyes and dived into the sink whooping and yelling like kids.
When they heard Maria shut off the shower they climbed out of the sink and put their hands over their eyes again. They heard her climb out of the shower and the swoosh of the towel as she wrapped it around herself. She then dropped a face cloth over them and they uncovered their eyes and started to dry themselves.
When they had discovered they might be there for a while, Maria had taken them to the toy store and bought them clothes, etc. They had been pleased to discover that these days Action Man wore more than just camouflage.
They pulled on the clean clothes Maria had laid out for them and then climbed down onto the floor. They wandered through to the living room and helped each other up onto the sofa while she went to get dressed.
"What we watching?" Spike asked standing on the remote control to turn the TV on.
"Did you peek?" Angel asked Spike.
"Every time." He replied. "She's gorgeous ain't she?"
"Yeah!" Angel sighed.
Just then Maria came into the room in her pyjamas. They shut up quickly and tried to look innocent.
"What are you two up to?" She asked.
"Nothing." They replied together a little too quickly.
She eyed them suspiciously before picking up the remote knocking Spike to his butt on the sofa. Crossing to the machine she put in the video, then went and plonked down beside them on the sofa.
About twenty minutes into the film Spike climbed up onto her leg.
"Wot?" She asked not looking at him.
"Nothing." He replied sweetly sitting himself down.
"Yeah right!" She snorted.
A few minutes later Angel climbed up beside Spike.
"Double team, eh?" She said still not looking at them.
They sidled up her leg and pulled on the bottom of her top, encouraging her to look down at them. When she did they were giving her their best puppy dog eyes routine.
"Okay, I'll bite." She giggled. "What do you guys want, Ice cream or more coffee?"
"Ice cream!" They squeaked together.
"Scat then." She said and they both jumped off so she could go to the kitchen. She came back with two small tubs of Chunky Monkey, a dessertspoon for herself and two small plastic spoons they had also acquired in the toy store.
She sat down again and placed one of the tubs between them. She handed them a spoon each.
"Don't get any on the sofa now." She warned.
"No fear." Spike replied. "Wouldn't want to waste it!"
While the two of them tucked into their ice cream Maria picked up a pen and notepad and started scribbling. They decided it was probably best not to interrupt her and ate their ice cream quietly while watching the film.
When the film finished Maria turned off the TV.
"Time for bed?" She enquired.
Spike yawned and Angel stretched.
"I'll take that as a yes." She smiled.
Picking them up in turn she slipped them into the pocket of her pyjama top and padded through to the bedroom. She deposited them on the bedside table.
Action Man also came with sleeping bags these days luckily. They all climbed into their beds and Maria turned out the light.
A few hours later Angel nudged Spike awake.
"Wot is it?" He asked rubbing at his eyes.
"She's talking in her sleep." Angel whispered.
Spike sat up and listened. "What should we do?" He questioned.
"I have an idea." Angel said. "Help me light this candle."
He gestured to the candle on the table beside them. Spike raised his eyebrows but said "Okay."
They wrestled a match out of the giant box and managed to light it without waking Maria. Spike climbed up onto the lamp and Angel passed him the match. There was a tense few moments as Spike struggled with the lit match but eventually he succeeded in lighting the candle. He dropped to the table beside Angel and they both blew like crazy to put the match out. Not an easy feat for two guys who don't breathe.
"Now what?" Spike whispered.
"Well..." Said Angel. "Luckily I had a pen in my pocket when we came here so it shrunk too. I hung onto it just in case it might come in handy."
He produced the tiny pen from behind the alarm clock.
"I think we should write down what she says. It might be important."
"Okay." Said Spike. He went over to the notepad Maria kept beside her bed and pushed her pen off of it.
They spent the next couple of hours taking turns writing down what she said and trying to make sense of it. They couldn't. Eventually Maria stopped dreaming and fell into a deep sleep. Spike & Angel fell asleep too.
When she woke up in the morning Maria found them both curled up on her notepad, which was covered, in the smallest writing.
"Morning Guys." She said quietly. "What have you been up too?"
Spike & Angel sat up, yawned and stretched.
"Taking notes from your dream." Angel said.
"We thought it might help you." Spike added.
They slid off the notebook and Maria picked it up. She held it up to her face and said, "that's sweet guys, but I can't read a word of this. It's too small."
"I have an idea on that." Spike said.
"Which is?" She asked
"I'll explain when we get to your office. What's for breakfast?"
"Sheesh!" Sighed Maria. "Do you two never think about anything other than your stomachs?" She laughed.
Angel & Spike looked up at her.
"Sometimes." They chuckled and winked at her.
"Something tells me I don't want to know." She said picking them both up and slipping them into the pocket on her pyjama top again.
Spike & Angel leaned back against her in the pocket and chuckled again.
After they had eaten and gotten themselves dressed and organised, they headed out to Maria's office. When they got there Maria put her rucksack on the counter and Spike & Angel climbed out. Maria filled the coffee machine and put in on.
"So what do you have in mind, Spike?" She enquired.
"I thought we..." He gestured to himself & Angel. "Could type this up while you're at your meeting this morning."
"Good idea." Maria said.
She carried them through to the back office where her computer was.
"Let me just check my e-mail and upload the last of those web pages… and the office is yours." She switched on her machine then went back through to get two clean cups for the coffee.
When she returned Spike & Angel were trying to manhandle a CD into her machine. She put the coffee cups down on the desk and put the CD in for them.
"Thanks." They said.
About half an hour later Maria was done and getting ready to leave for her meeting. She loaded the word-processing package for them, poured them another cup of coffee and pleaded with them to behave while she was away.
"If you're good I'll bring you a present."
"Ooo, ooo!" They chorused. "What?"
"You'll have to wait and see." She said pulling on her jacket. "Have you seen my keys?"
Spike & Angel both pointed to the counter.
"Thanks." She said, blowing them a kiss. She left them singing along to 'Heaven is a half pipe'.
Spike & Angel busied themselves with the typing. Angel climbed up and sat on the back of Maria's chair so he could see the screen better and read out what they had written. Spike hopped about on the keyboard jumping on and off the keys to type the words.
"Careful." Said Angel. "Don't stand on the key for too long."
Spike looked up at the screen to see he had typed too many S's by standing on the key too long.
"Oops!" He laughed making his way his way to the backspace key. "This is gonna be harder than I thought."
"We'll get there." Laughed Angel.
A while later, they had finished and managed to print it out, although it was too big for them to lift off the printer. They decided since they were there they would send Wesley, Gunn & Cordelia an e-mail to let them know how they were getting on.
After that was done they were contemplating looking for Maria's stories but before they could find any, Maria came back into the office.
She threw down her helmet and keys and collapsed onto a chair in the front office. Not bothering to take off her jacket.
"Uh-oh!" Said Spike.
"That doesn't look good." Agreed Angel.
They walked over to the edge of the table and slid down the leg. Jogging into the other room, they went over to the low table in front of her. She had put her feet on the table so they were able to scramble up onto her legs and walk up to her chest. Her head was hanging back over the chair and she had her eyes closed.
"What did they say?" Asked Spike.
"Didn't they like it?" Asked Angel.
Maria slowly lifted her head and opened her eyes. She looked down at them. "They loved it." She said flatly.
Spike sat down with a bump. "So what's the problem?"
"They want more." She said. "Bigger, fancier. It means a lot more work. Late nights, coffee, not getting your story finished."
"Oh!" Angel stated.
"Sorry guys, I just can't think with all of this." She sighed. "Something's got to give." She pulled a bag out of her pocket and set it on her stomach beside them. "I hope you were good." She smiled weakly before letting her head fall backwards again and closing her eyes.
Spike scrambled over to the bag and peered inside.
"Woo-hoo!" He squealed, diving into it.
Good job you don't breathe!" Angel called to him, then went to see what she had brought them.
Inside the bag were two of those finger skateboards. Angel laughed as he remembered the song they had been singing when she left. They pulled them out of the bag and carried them down her legs to the table. Angel climbed down onto the floor and Spike passed the boards to him before climbing down himself. Spike started skating up and down, trying tricks.
"I'm too old for this." Groaned Angel.
"Nonsense, old man." Spike joked. "Give it a try."
So, Angel did, and soon the two of them were charging around the office after each other. After a few minutes of listening to them Maria sat up with a groan, shrugged of her jacket and made some fresh coffee. She almost tripped over Spike who had gone flying and was sprawled on the floor. She scowled at him pretending to be annoyed, and then stuck out her finger to help him up. Angel was too busy laughing to be of any help. She stepped around the now upright Spike and wandered through to the back office flopping down into her chair before the PC. A few minutes later she was rattling away on the keyboard.
Out in the front office Angel came to an abrupt stop and Spike slammed into him. Angel had to catch him before he fell on his face again.
"C'mon Spiky-boy." He said. "Time to help."
So, skateboards underarm they walked into the back office.
"Let us up then." Spike yelled at Maria. She held down her hand and they grabbed onto her cuff so she could lift them up onto the desk.
A few hours later Maria was asleep on the desk, pen in hand, head on the layout sketch she'd been working on. Spike & Angel were hopping about on the keyboard trying to type.
About an hour after that with a yawn Maria lifted her head off the desk and rubbed her eyes. Angel was curled up on her mouse mat and Spike was lying along the top of her keyboard, both sound asleep. She smiled at them. Then she noticed the paper sitting on the top of her printer. She picked it up and scanned through the words.
"Wow!" She said when she got to the end. "Now I know what I'm supposed to write."
Being careful not to disturb Angel, she clicked through the menus to open the file the story was in and started rattling off text. After a few seconds of typing she noticed Spike move.
"Urrgh!" He moaned holding his hands up to cover his ears. "What the bloody hell is that racket? Sounds like a bloody train!"
"Sorry." Maria whispered.
Spike sat up and looked at her. "You look pleased about something."
"I know how to finish your story." She said.
"You do!" He gasped. "Angel, Angel! Wake up you lazy sod!" Spike yelled at him.
"Wah, wot?" Mumbled Angel uncurling himself and stretching.
"She's gonna finish our story!" Spike exclaimed.
"You are?" Angel sat up quickly. "How?"
"It was this stuff you wrote for me." She said indicating the page she had taken from the printer. "It contains everything I need to finish it."
"Oh cool!" Said Spike.
"Glad we could help." Added Angel.
Angel paced and Spike slept while Maria typed. Then they swapped over.
Eventually Maria sighed triumphantly. "All done." She grinned. "What should I do with it? You can't carry it."
"Can you e-mail it to Wesley?" Angel asked.
"Sure thing." She said, and with a few clicks of her mouse the file was on its way across to LA.
"Now what about you guys?" She asked.
"Umm, we don't actually know how to get back." Angel mumbled, shifting from foot to foot.
"We don't?" Squealed Spike. "You never told me that." He squared off to Angel but before they could start to fight, Maria placed a hand between them.
"That's enough!" She snapped. "I know exactly how to get you back."
"You do?" Quizzed Angel.
"Phew!" Said Spike relieved.
"Yes, I do." Frowned Maria. "Now come on." She switched off her PC as they grabbed up their boots, jackets and skateboards. "We have to go back to my place."
When they were ready she carried them through to the other room and slipped them into the pocket of her rucksack. She then threw on her jacket, turned off the lights and carried them to her bike.
Back at her flat they pestered her for coffee and ice cream saying they wanted one last taste before they had to go back to their old ways. Then they gathered up their stuff and picked up their skateboards.
"Ready?" She asked.
"Not quite." Angel replied.
"We just need one more thing." Said Spike.
"What's that?" She asked looking at them fidgeting on the counter.
"Can you come down here?" Angel motioned for her to bend down.
She knelt on the floor so she was eye level with them and they stepped towards her, one on either side. They kissed her on the cheeks.
"Thanks." They whispered. "We'll miss you."
"I'll miss you too." She smiled. "Stay in touch."
"You betcha." They said together.
"You gonna be able to finish that site?" Angel enquired.
"Sure. You helped me with most of it already." She said. "Not that much left to do now."
They stepped back and she stood. There was a blinding flash as she snapped her fingers and Spike & Angel opened their eyes to find themselves on the floor of the hotel, a tangle of limbs and now full-size skateboards.
"Hi guys!" Cordelia greeted them. "Good to have you back. What's with the skateboards?"
Angel & Spike grinned cheekily and righted themselves.
"Did you get it?" Asked Angel.
"I'm dying to read it." Spike added.
Wesley appeared in the doorway. "Good to have you back, and yes, we've got it. It's the funniest prophecy I've ever read, but it's all here."
He held up two printouts, which Spike & Angel proceeded to snatch out of his hands.
"You must've had some influence on her." Gunn laughed coming into the reception area.
Spike & Angel sat down and laughed their way through the prophecy too.
"This'll be one prophecy I'll be glad to see come true." Angel choked out between laughs.
"Me too." Said Spike. "Me too!"
~~~The End~~~